Post-Election Angst: What To Tell Your Children – Part 1

[Hope, Competence, Identity]

Jeannine Marie Lenehan


Check out tips by age group below.

Politics and the political arena have never been for the faint hearted, and this Presidential Election was no exception. In fact, much of the rhetoric was so negative and lingered for so long that, by Election Day, many of us – constituents and pundits alike – felt as if we were suffering from post-election angst.

As parents, protecting our children from harmful messages that question our ideologies was especially difficult. Constant media messages promoted each candidate’s implicit and explicit biases and shined a disappointing light on the deep divide within and between political parties. No matter which direction you turned voters felt marginalized. You could see it in their faces and hear it in their voices. Listening and understanding gave way to bullying and downed out messages that supported our shared values.

We want to engage our children in our democracy and its equal rights for all, encourage [by example] the art of listening to others who may feel differently than we do, and help children to understand that we are more alike than we are different. When we work together we can bridge our divide. That’s when we are at our best and when our light shines its brightest.

Our children come into the world curious creatures and spend their infancy, childhood and adolescence soaking up their surroundings and forming a belief system, making it essential for us to be mindful of the types of environments they are exposed to. These environments include the types of conversations you have with
your child, the peripheral discussions and they are exposed to, and the types of media messages, background or otherwise, that play out in your home.

Harsh and hostile tones can confuse, anger, or cause children to withdraw, and become anxious or aggressive. Keeping the tone and your actions inclusive and optimistic can encourage children to open up about their feelings and ideas. Their healthy participation in conversations can alo promote their resilience and other wonderful qualities including their healthy sense of hope, competence, and an internal and external awareness of themselves and others.

As parents we come to the table with a lifetime of experience, wisdom and a set of hopes for our children. However, some of our negative experiences can shape our opinions, and fuel our insecurities and fears. We can project these onto our children, which can negatively influence their social and emotional health. Instead take a moment and…

Make The Time To…

  • Turn off the television and disconnect from all other media
  • Engage with your child
  • Keep the conversation inclusive and age appropriate
  • Keep the tone hopeful
  • Balance your opinions

Do Activities Together Like…

    • Cooking
    • Walking or hiking
    • Watching their favorite movie
    • Playing a relaxing game like cards or Scrabble or doing a puzzle together can promote healthy conversation and provide insight into your child, tween, or teen’s every day thoughts as well as their hopes and dreams.

Children, no matter their age, are finding their way, making sense of their surroundings, and discovering where they fit in; so it’s necessary to talk with your child, listen, understand, and support their feelings or concerns.

The Presidential Election was contentious at best and its negative tone may have bled into your home, your child’s classroom, or other social environments. Below are some guidelines, by age group, to help mitigate these harmful effects, help promote healthy dialogue, and instill a sense of assurance in them:

AGES: Through 6

Encourage your child…

        • To express how they feel verbally or on paper.
          • This can help children to process their feelings.
          • Drawing pictures or using other forms of art can be very calming and therapeutic for young children.
        • To express what they Wish for verbally or on paper.
          • Expressing heartfelt words and drawing pictures is very calming and therapeutic for young children and promotes their healthy sense of hope.
          • To exercise with you. Exercise has the unique ability to simultaneously exhilarate and relax our bodies while countering depression, and alleviating stress.
            • Yoga, for example, emphasizes breath control, body postures, and meditation. It is a relaxing activity that requires minimal space and equipment, and is widely practiced for health and relaxation.

Let your child know and help them to understand…

        • They are safe and you will keep them safe.
        • The healthy things they have in common with their peers.
        • Good things happen (mutual kindness and respect) when we take time to listen to each other and find ways to play and work together, even when we disagree.
        • It’s not okay for anyone to use words or actions that hurt their feelings or their body.
        • If someone uses words that hurt your feelings, let them know and talk about it separately, away from your peers.
          • If you have trouble working out your differences then reach out to you/parent [or another trusted adult] for guidance.
        • If someone tries to hurt your body, move away from them immediately and reach out to you/parent [or another trusted adult] for guidance.
        • They have a good heart.
        • You understand how they feel.
        • They are loved.
        • They are important.
        • They are strong on the inside.

AGES: 6-12

Encourage your child…

        • To express how they feel verbally or on paper.
          • Journaling can a wonderful stress reliever and can help children and tweens process their feelings.
        • To express what they Wish for verbally or on paper.
          • Expressing heartfelt words, drawing, or using other forms of art can be very calming and therapeutic for children and tweens and promotes their healthy sense of hope.
          • To exercise with you, a sibling, or a friend. Exercise has the unique ability to simultaneously exhilarate and relax our bodies while countering depression, and alleviating stress.
            • Yoga, for example, emphasizes breath control, body postures, and meditation. It is a relaxing activity that requires minimal space and equipment, and is widely practiced for health and relaxation.

Let your child know and help them to understand…

        • They are safe and you will keep them safe.
        • The healthy things they have in common with their peers.
        • That people are generally more alike than they are different.
        • Mutual kindness and respect happens when we take time to listen and understand each other and find ways to play and work together, even when we disagree.
          • They have the wonderful skills and abilities that can encourage this in others.
        • It’s not okay for anyone to use words or actions that hurt their feelings or their body.
          • If someone uses words that hurt your feelings, let them know and talk about it separately, away from your peers.
            • If you have trouble working out your differences then reach out to you/parent [or another trusted adult] for guidance.
          • If someone tries to hurt your body, move away from them immediately and reach out to you/parent [or another trusted adult] for guidance.
        • They have a good heart.
        • You support them and understand how they feel.
        • They are loved.
        • They have a wonderful internal strength.
        • They bring a wonderful sense of purpose to their family, friends, and world around them.

AGES: 13-18

Encourage your teen…

        • To express how they feel.
          • Journaling can also be a wonderful stress reliever and help your teen process their feelings.
        • To express what they Wish.
          • Expressing heartfelt words, drawing, or other forms of art can very calming and therapeutic for teens and promotes their healthy sense of hope.
        • To exercise with you, a sibling, or a friend. Exercise has the unique ability to simultaneously exhilarate and relax our bodies while countering depression, and alleviating stress.
          • Yoga, for example, emphasizes breath control, body postures, and meditation. It is a relaxing activity that requires minimal space and equipment, and is widely practiced for health and relaxation.

Let your child know and help them to understand…

      • They are safe and you will help guide them to make healthy decisions.
      • People are generally more alike than they are different.
      • Mutual kindness and respect happens when we take time to listen and understand each other and find ways to work together, even when we disagree.
        • They have the wonderful skills and abilities that can encourage this in others.
        • Listening and understanding helps us to discover our shared values and can help build common ground with others.
      • It’s never okay for anyone to use words or actions that harm them mentally or physically.
        • If there is an altercation try to resolve it by talking together and away peers.
        • If this doesn’t work, and the tone escalates, walk away from potential harm; reach out to you/parent [or another trusted adult] for guidance.
      • They have a good heart.
      • You support them and understand how they feel.
      • They are loved.
      • They have wonderful internal strength.
      • They bring a wonderful sense of purpose to their family, friends, and the world around them.

References

Jeannine Marie Lenehan
Child Development Specialist & Researcher
Founder and Principal
SUNKISSED FAMILIES

SUNKISSED FAMILIES TAKE AWAY TOOL BOX:


  • 1. Make the time each day to disconnect from all media and engage with your child. Keep the conversation inclusive and optimistic can encourage children and adolescents to open up about their feelings and ideas.
  • 2. Do not project your own insecurities and fears onto your child. This can negatively influence their social and emotional health.
  • 3. Their healthy participation of sharing ideas and opinions can positively influence their resilience.
  • 4. Take a moment to read a full list of tips to promote healthy dialogue between you and your child. See list above by age group.


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