Returning to work and finding quality care for your infant can feel overwhelming. Parents place a tremendous amount of trust in their childcare provider each time they drop their child off, making theirs and their infant’s relationship with their daycare provider an important one; one that can influence an infant’s social and emotional well-being. Writing this article turned out to be a personal journey for me and helped me to re-examine my own decisions after the birth of my first child. Here’s what I learned…

It was 1986 and I was 24 years old when my husband and I welcomed our daughter into the world. Her birth and presence delighted us each day and it wasn’t long before we felt she had always been a part of us. My husband and I met in college and had jobs we intended to keep, but the question of where to find quality childcare sat heavy with us. We looked at options during our pregnancy, but it was very challenging and, sadly, neither of our companies offered in-house childcare or other childcare benefits. This was not unusual for the time. Yet, despite what seemed insurmountable, we were determined to find quality care for our child. I was not a Child Development Specialist at the time, but like other parents, I was equipped with something deep-seated that would allow me to understand the importance of my infant’s healthy transition from our care to care of another.

Parenting is a beautiful evolution and our response as parents is adaptive; it’s one that strives to ensure that our infant’s basic needs will be met. As parents, we understand that our infant will require this same attention when they are in the care of someone else. So, my husband and I researched and spoke with friends and family members to see if they had any suggestions. Childcare centers were rare and there wasn’t a lot of oversight. Did anyone know someone who might know someone that could recommend a childcare facility? Repeatedly we came up empty.

At the time, my brother-in-law worked for a prominent computer company that offered progressive family benefits including paid maternity leave, paid paternity leave, and quality, in-house childcare; however, they were the exception, not the rule. Like you, we tried to identify the best childcare facility for our child. That said, I encourage you to look beyond the aesthetic and examine the care. Your goal should be to identify a high-ability childcare provider in a quality childcare setting.

The Important Bonds Between Infant and Parent & Infant and Child Caregiver

Infants require regular feedings, periods of deep sleep, and time to relax. These demonstrations of care, combined with constant affection will provide a sense of inner certainty as well as outer predictability for the infant. This type of attention also nurtures your infant’s feelings of inner goodness, which fosters their sense of trust in the world around them. As your infant develops, trust can also act as a wonderful, internal safeguard that will promote their sense of hopefulness.

You’ll notice that when your infant cries you’ll instinctively bring them close in a warm and soothing way. This is because there’s a set of innate signals that actually call you to your baby’s side. As you soothe your infant you’re encouraging your infant to communicate in ways other than crying. Over a period of time, with consistent, warm and sensitive care, an affectionate and secure bond is formed between you and your child. This bond helps to establish you, the parent, as your child’s most significant attachment. Other important relationships that should exist for your child are additional, healthy influences. In Child Development lingo these individuals are considered your child’s healthy “secondary attachments.”Children can form attachments, but they may not necessarily be healthy ones. Therefore, injecting the word “healthy” when referring to an attachment is key. They are the people your child should be able to trust and comfort them when they feel frightened or hurt, and your child’s caregiver should become one of them.

There is a general agreement amongst child development practitioners that infants can establish these wonderful secondary relationships during their first year of lifeRelationship Duration in Infant Care: Time with a High-Ability Teacher and Infant-Teacher Attachment. References below.. This is helpful news for parents who may feel anxious about leaving their child while they’re at work. It’s true; your child may experience feelings of separation when you drop them off but, as a healthy bond develops between your child and their child caregiver, your child’s discomfort will begin to subside and the child caregiver will be able to buffer their discomforts as they arise. Like you, a high-ability child caregiver will help your child to feel trusting of their environment, which will encourage their healthy exploration of their surroundings.

A study found when a child is given warm and sensitive care by the same caregiver, over an extended period of time (Raikes, H., 1993), the child was more likely to develop a healthy sense of control and trust in themselves and a feeling that their child caregiver will be responsive to their needs. For parents who have concerns about their child establishing a stronger connectionIn some cases where an insecure attachment has been established between the parent and child, a high-ability child caregiver can recompense for the lack of secure attachment to the parent. Some studies have shown that toddlers who were securely attached to their childcare providers experienced frequent interactions with adults in daycare setting and played productively. See reference below: Howes et al., as cited in Raikes 1993). with the caregiver than with them, there is no need to worry. Your child’s caregiver will not detract from the wonderful, healthy bond you have established with your child.

We live in a society where many parents work outside the home, making high-ability childcare seminal. Child caregivers not only play a vital role in the social and emotional health of children, but they can also play an important role in helping parents balance work and family life.

I never did find consistent, affordable, quality childcare for my daughter. However, she did have the benefit of wonderful and fulfilling secondary attachments. At the time, quality childcare facilities were few and far between, and for those centers that were in place, they were either too costly or had little oversight. So, I pieced togetherYes, it was a puzzle! a few friends and family members to help watch my daughter during the week, but within a few months, I found that it taxed our family in ways I hadn’t planned for. Not only did we feel highly disorganized but, more importantly, our beautiful infant daughter was becoming irritable. We made a decision and I quit my job, picked up my daughter, went home, and added water to the soup. Not everyone had or has this option. It’s not 1986 and the cost of childcare and other living expenses are more exorbitant than ever. Early childhood caregivers are also being taxed; low pay and societal neglect for their vocation is pushing them out the door, and with them, opportunities for children to experience those healthy social and emotional attachments early childhood professionals can offer.

For questions regarding this article email Jeannine M. Lenehan info@sunkissedfamilies.com.